9 out of 12

Great News......the Rock has been given a publicly funded spot (free for us) at Carmen Pingree School for children with autism. We are so grateful for this opportunity and feel that it is a great blessing for all of us.

Carmen Pingree's approach is different from what we have been doing so there will be a lot of learning for all of us. I feel that it will give the Rock the ability to reach his potential. He has already come so far and we know that he will continue to succeed.

When you are accepted you go through an evaluation to make sure your child is a good fit. We spent 3hours at the school yesterday for this evaluation. The Rock was evaluated by an ABA trained teacher, the Speech Pathologist and the Psychiatrist. I was evaluated by the Psychiatrist (yes about Hagen, not me, that would have taken more than three hours....right?). I thought I was going to be way more emotional during this evaluation, but when it was over I was still laughing. When the Psychiatrist was done talking to me he handed me a piece of paper that showed me the 9 out of 12 autism characteristics the Rock has.

It was then my turn to ask questions, so I asked him the one that everyone asks me......"How autistic is he? or He doesn't look autistic, he must be high functioning. or Are you sure?" BTW These are all very rude, judgemental and very hurtful. He then said "He has 9 out of 12, he not mild. Mild would be 2 or 3, he has 9, he is right in the big middle." He then explained that the real question is "How is he functioning in four areas, Gross Motor/Fine Motor/Speech/Social?" Right now the Rock is at age level for Gross Motor, 24mo age for Fine Motor, 15mo age (preverbal) for Speech and Social. So..............no he is not at this time high functioning or anything else, just deep in the depths of autism, doing everything he can to succeed.

He is such a sweet loving little boy. That really lights up a room if you let him. It was so fun yesterday because everyone is always all gushy over him. He is doing so well and we are so proud of him and all the children and how well we all are able to work together. Finding PEACE within our pieces of life. PEACE by PIECE it will all fit together.

HOLY COW!!!

The Rock is moving along, just this week....... 1)When sharing Diet Coke (a love we have in common, don't judge me :) look at what it gets him to do) I can say "Mama's turn" and then he will point to himself to give him a turn. Today he even said his name. (grabbing my head and shaking it) WOW!! 2)Said "dank do" for thank you today (now I'm crying I'm so happy) 3)Played in a small room of 50 people, 35 were kids. He followed them a lot of the time and copied his brother. When they sat in a circle he sat in the circle next to his brother. He would drag his brother by the finger to go with him. This is so amazing, with everything going on he hung with the group. Sure he would take a time out and hide or stim with his hands, but overall he was AMAZING! 4)Said "cracker" 5)Cries if we leave him, because he wants to play WITH us. 6)Randomly he will drop whatever is in his hands and go and hug his brother. It is the MOST precious thing you have ever seen. It's never when I have my camera so I don't have a picture. Hopefully soon I will. It's so neat to see how much Taz loves to get hugs from the Rock. I don't even really get hugs. I get loves but not like this. I am so excited about all the fun things. My baby boy is a walking miracle everyday!

Deep Thoughts by SheRA

So........ A year ago I was give some inspiration as I felt like I was drounding in the chaos of life. Now the same inspiration has come back to me with different circumstances and slightly different meaning. This inspiration is something I hold dear and want to share with you to see if it can change any one else perspective like it did mine. (now that I've built up the not needed suspense, drum roll) WHAT IF WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH ISN'T HAPPENING TO HURT YOU, IT'S FOR SOMEONE ELSE? There are things that we go through in life not due to consequences or choices or someone elses bad decisions. Some things are just handed to us. I've spent some time being upset with the one that handed them to me, trying to figure out why I am the one with these things, because I don't feel like the right person. I've wondered, "Why so many things at the same time, one alone would be plenty". And then when I think about the thought that maybe these things aren't being handed to me, they are for me to help another, I am then the one in control of who I am and what I can handle. I can be a HERO for someone else. Considering the way I've handled things so far, If God gave grades I think I'm getting a D-. That just means there's room for improvement right? I don't even think it's a coppout when I say I really am doing my best. With that said I'm glad I have an example of how to move forward and improve. I thought about my Savior and how I'm sure from a young age he could have asked himself "Why is this being handed to me?" Fortunately he already had the understanding that what he was going through wasn't being done to him, it was being done for us, for me and for you. There may be some of you who are saying how could this be good for someone else? I don't know, but I know God has a much bigger plan than any of us can see and we have a choice to keep moving forward with what we've been handed and be someones HERO. A hero just because you are you. You are who they need. You never know who is watching and learning from YOU! Does this change your perspective??????(please no comments on how I'm doing)

French Toast & PEACE

Can eating french toast be considered a miracle? I think so! Sunday morning I fixed french toast for the fam. I arranged it all on the table with a big pile of french toast in the middle. As everyone gathered around the table the Rock came too (miracle #1 following the family and sitting at the table with us, to eat no less). The Rock then grabs a piece of french toast (miracle #2 98% of the time bread is not apart of his diet). HE EATS IT!!! (miracle #3 with all the textile issues he has he rarely eats something even if he's touched it). It's amazing how watching a little boy take small bites of french toast can fill your soul with delight. I do admit it was pretty amazing french toast, but I don't think I had anything to do with these miracles. I thank my God daily (and that's not enough) for the progress of my children and the tender mercies that are poured upon me. PEACE

To Diet or NOT To Diet, That is the Question

From day one of the Rock's autism diagnosis I have been asked the question "Do you have him on one of those special diet's?". The special diet I'm talking about is no Casein or Whey, basically no dairy products. I would answer with "No, I haven't felt that that is what we need to do at this time." Everyone has an opinion on both sides of the fence, and many have seen miracles happen when this diet is followed. Six months ago I took the Rock to an allergist to see if he had food allergies that were affecting him. This prick test was a negative on everything. So, I let it go. A month ago I went to a new pediatrician, and he wanted to do some tests and then make a plan for my son. "A PLAN? WOW!" My other pediatrician didn't even have it noticeable on his chart so every time I went in I had to explain that the Rock was autistic, seriously NOT cool, I've been to the doctor a few times (wink, wink). So after a number of tests we have some results, telling us that the Rock's body is on the low end of Vitamin D, very low in Iron and is producing extreme amounts of antibodies to fight the casein and whey in his system. So? We are going off milk! This is a big deal because it breaks my heart to take away something that is a staple in his diet when not much else is. I do feel that this is something we can take on and see if it will make a difference. Before today I wasn't ready to climb this mountain, but because today I am, it makes me feel like this is the right choice. You have to follow that still small voice and then you will feel PEACE. Mark the calendar! January 29, 2011 Let's watch and see if anything changes.

Beauty Tips by Audrey Hepburn

"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed,

and redeemed; never throw out anyone.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,

you will find one at the end of each of your arms.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself,

and the other for helping others.”

I appreciate my sister (from another mister) who shared this with me. They are beautiful words that remind us of little things that really matter. In a world of udder chaos when it comes to looks and the status quo, this is what I wish was playing on the radio, commercials on TV and articles on the magazines. Hope it gives you a little bit of peace.

Hands in the Air, Wavem' like you just don't care

Last week the boys were sick for a few days and I did admit that it was a little bit bliss, BUT now I've been sick for a week and its just not fair. I know, I know life's not fair. Seriously moms really shouldn't get sick it's just not right. I tried to convince myself I wasn't that sick and just keep moving at the regular, slightly slower pace, but by yesterday I was dead to the world and the kiddos had to pick me up. I had to just throw my hands in the air and surrendered. The kiddos came through, a miracle. You should have seen Punky take charge. That girl is wonderful and such a blessing. I wish I had a picture of me and the boys asleep on the LovSac by 6pm. (don't worry I was in and out to make sure all was well) All is well and hopefully very soon I will be back on track. Thanks to all the helpers who picked up all the pieces and gave me PEACE.

Thank YOU help!!

We are all blessed in different ways. Many of you may not feel blessed when you have people come stay with you or even move in, but for me it brings peace. Yes, life changes a bit. You can't go running around naky any more, but really who does that any way? Well I know who does and be careful I might name names.

We have been blessed to have our brother come live with us. This man is a wonderful person with so much love within he has to share it with all of us. We had been begging him for years (it seemed like) to move in but it wasn't the time until now. Now we are so happy to have him with us and hope he stays for a while. We hope all the crazy pieces of our lives don't chase him away......because honestly sometimes I'm ready to run away. (don't worry I don't go very far :)

I hope you can find peace with some of the different ways you are blessed. Thanks Bro for bringing peace into our lives.

working PEACE

Punky says "Mom why are you so happy?"

I say "I don't know, because I'm being a good mom and working."

Let me paint the picture. Taz is playing Wii (having a great time and I am helping him from time to time). Punky is doing her homework all by herself (a miracle). The Rock is sleeping and has been all day with a high fever. Spunky at a friends house (a rare occurrence at our house also a miracle). Heman is off saving the world in Jersey. I am busy helping every one and working at the same time. I felt great, I felt at PEACE with all the different pieces of our lives.

For me being productive and accomplishing tasks is magical. It makes me feel alive and powerful. Although I totally hated that the Rock was sick, I also wasn't feeling guilty about doing everything else and not playing therapy for him. I didn't have to fix dinner because no one cared if we had it until later. Every one's needs and desires were met and I was guilt free, MIRACLE.........PEACE!

a new year, a new day, a new piece, a new peace

I am revamping this blog and although it will have the same updates and insights into our lives, it will also have a new focus......PEACE. I need to see the peace that is given to all of us. I've accepted that the trials don't stop, they don't get easier they just get different and "Added Upon" (a book my father gave me at a younger age). I woke up this morning distraught with sadness and confusion. (when I mention these things I don't always need an "I'm sorry" just keep reading to find the peace I find) Although I can't change the destruction and poison of others I can choose how to handle it. I'm still now sure on the final decision right now, but I do know one thing (the peace)........... GOD LIVES, JESUS IS THE CHRIST AND THERE IS A GREATER PURPOSE TO ALL OF THIS! I spent a lot of time being mad at God and not wanting to go through the things he sees fit to give me. I question him and the purpose and the meaning and yet that is the actual thing that keeps me grounded. Because no matter how mad, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, confused and angry I am, the thought always comes to me "If you are mad at God, you must still know he is there." Among all the bad feelings come the miracles everyday, you know the ones I have talked about the last year, and they are numerous. 13 years ago I sat with Elder Neal A. Maxwell and listened to him tell us not to ask "Why" because it is a form of doubting God. I use to think that doubt and faith could not coexist. I now think that sometimes faith is just one step in front of the other with or without doubt. The faith to keep moving through is all I have sometimes. All I have is the words above and no other explanation as to "Why" or "What will be", BUT those words do give peace to me. I love he loves me some how, some way. I have and do continually feel the love of God everyday.