you know you're a M.O.M. when...

...preparing for the worst takes all your worries away.
I was talking to a dear friend (Aleisha from She Calls Me "Mama Leisha") the other day and she was explaining to me how worried she was about "birthing a person" for the third time (she's a pro, right?). I told her she had it under control and not to worry. We all know that doesn't help. So I told her what I do when I'm worried.

When I'm worried it's usually because I've imagined the most terrible thing happening, one of my loved ones dead or extremely injured. This worry doesn't come out of no where, I have very spirited children who put themselves in dangerous situations all the time, just because they are not paying attention or they do not understand what danger is. Recently The Rock (5yr old with autism) realized he's able to reach the branch on the only tree in the backyard. This realization now makes it possible for him to be over the fence in 1min flat. The first time he did this I had my eyes off him for 5 minutes and he was found laying in the middle of the street (the one that people drive WAY too fast down the hill). Now we're back to house arrest. Haha

I understand worry but it turns into anxiety and that leads to a whole spectrum of debilitating scenarios, I don't enjoy. I've come up with my way to cope with this. I determine if I can change my situation, if I can I do. Obviously sometimes you can't, like my sweet pregnant friend, something you just have to go through have faith and LET IT PASS. In times of not being able to change the situation I imagine every possible scenario imaginable, I come up with a solution or decide what I would do if it happened and then???? I have to LET IT PASS. I've then prepared my mind as best I can for the worst and I have to have faith, turn it over to the angels watching and let whatever is suppose to happen occur.

I totally agree with the idea to stay positive, look on the bright side, pray for the best outcome. But "if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." This is how I make this scripture real for me and the ability to feel PEACE in these worrisome times. What do you do?

a new year, a new day, a new piece, a new peace

I am revamping this blog and although it will have the same updates and insights into our lives, it will also have a new focus......PEACE. I need to see the peace that is given to all of us. I've accepted that the trials don't stop, they don't get easier they just get different and "Added Upon" (a book my father gave me at a younger age). I woke up this morning distraught with sadness and confusion. (when I mention these things I don't always need an "I'm sorry" just keep reading to find the peace I find) Although I can't change the destruction and poison of others I can choose how to handle it. I'm still now sure on the final decision right now, but I do know one thing (the peace)........... GOD LIVES, JESUS IS THE CHRIST AND THERE IS A GREATER PURPOSE TO ALL OF THIS! I spent a lot of time being mad at God and not wanting to go through the things he sees fit to give me. I question him and the purpose and the meaning and yet that is the actual thing that keeps me grounded. Because no matter how mad, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, confused and angry I am, the thought always comes to me "If you are mad at God, you must still know he is there." Among all the bad feelings come the miracles everyday, you know the ones I have talked about the last year, and they are numerous. 13 years ago I sat with Elder Neal A. Maxwell and listened to him tell us not to ask "Why" because it is a form of doubting God. I use to think that doubt and faith could not coexist. I now think that sometimes faith is just one step in front of the other with or without doubt. The faith to keep moving through is all I have sometimes. All I have is the words above and no other explanation as to "Why" or "What will be", BUT those words do give peace to me. I love he loves me some how, some way. I have and do continually feel the love of God everyday.