Christina "Pretty" Perri Concert

Awesome Night! Mom and Dad w/ da Girls. :)

Nothing makes me happier than when I see smiles on my kiddos faces. No wonder we want only the best for our kids and to never see them cry. Smiles and laughing are so much better. Especially when childhood dreams come true.

So glad Aunties got to join in the fun with us.

Trying to Understand

It was said to me this week that someone WAS trying to understand what our life is like, true understanding only comes from living it everyday. We all have our own understanding of our own reality and until recently did even Heman really understand what life expects of us as parents of children with special needs. I believe EVERYONE has special needs, ours have special needs that take a lot longer for them to learn. I have used this blog as a documentation for myself and a positive outlook for us and others. I do try and explain somethings on here, but if this is all someone or anyone is using as a method of TRYING to UNDERSTAND how we are doing, all you are getting is a very positively slanted point of view. I do not go into the day to day trantrums caused by over stimulated Sensory Processing Disorder, which results in anyone of us being bitten, the Rock pounding his head on the nearest hard surface, screaming, throwing his heads, hands, legs and entire body in different directions, hitting the nearest person so hard it even makes me cry(if I'm the victim) AND includes not being able to understand why this is happening because HE CAN NOT TALK! I do not go into the stress in causes me to take him to a new place or store because of these tantrums. I do not go into the amount of worry he causes me because he DOES NOT EAT enough! I do not talk about the amount of guilt I deal with because I can never do enough for ALL of my children, because ALL of my children have learning disabilities and need extra help with school work and any kind of learning. I realize that all mothers have these sort of feelings and they are normal, however amplified they maybe by situations. There are many other things I do not go into on the blog, because this is not where I want to talk about them.

I DO NOT GO INTO THIS ON THE BLOG BECAUSE I HAVE MUCH TO BE GRATEFUL FOR AND I AM TRYING TO SPEND A LITTLE BIT OF TIME FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVE AND FINDING A LITTLE BIT OF PEACE out of the crazy pieces of our lives. These things are only about the children and being a mother. We all have many other different pieces of our lives and roles that we play and the last two years all of the those pieces have been difficult and I myself and TRYING to UNDERSTAND.

So if you are trying to understand what life is like for us you might want to read about autism and then ask me about it. Please ask me if something is possible before assuming that it is, because the most simple tasks are overwhelming for us right now and may not be possible. I enjoy helping others and the fact that I can't do as much as I would like to at this time is difficult for me. At this time my helping is on the Rock's terms and I'm doing everything I can to help him and the three other joys in our life.

Punky is 11!!!

Punky also wanted to go shopping so just her and Mom went out! We started at Claire's where she bought all the accessories she is wearing (nerdy glasses, tiara, sash and owl necklace). She HAD to wear them all! We then went to a few other stores where she purchased this adorable outfit and something to wear to the Christina Perri concert. The girls invited one friend to watch the movie Soul Surfer. It was a great day! We are so blessed to have the girls in our lives. Lately Punky has been rattling off all kinds of inspiring thoughts in difficult situations. We are really grateful for her sweet spirit and loving personality. She has brought PEACE to our minds and hearts.

99999 Spunky 99999

Spunky wanted to go shopping for her birthday, SO we did. Grammy came with us and made it that much more fun. Spunky wore this hat and birthday sash all over the mall and out to dinner at Red Robin. She would frequently brake out her runway walk and live it up! She is so much fun to be with. We had a great night shopping, eating and topped it off with a few friends, cake and ice cream!

eAstEr...........

with the Colorado cuzins. :) Earth Day was celebrated at the aquarium and finished off with watching African Cats on the big screen. It was a fun filled weekend with exploring the snow filled mountains and spotting Big Foot! We EXHAUSTED the children by swimming, playing chase, jumping, ultimate frisbee and their endless imaginary adventures! Aunt D of course exhausted her self by suppling us with endless gourmet meals and incredible hospitality as always. It is always a treat to visit our Colorado family. Easter day was lots of fun as you can see by the picture. By 3pm and right as we all sat down to dinner, the Rock sat up to the table to fill his belly. After one chicken nugget he laid his head down and fell asleep. He stayed in this position all through dinner and then was placed else where to sleep. So PEACEful!

socially grOWING

We are so grateful that the Rock has older siblings that he can learn from. A year ago he paid no attention to what they were doing. He had no interest in doing what they were doing and NOW.....

Last week Taz had a friend over and they were playing star wars and the Rock followed them all over the house, from top to bottom for about a half hour. He didn't engage in their game, but followed them and watched what they were doing.....he was learning!!!

At different times I will find the Rock pulling or following Taz and I love it! It's so much fun to see them interacting like typical siblings every once in awhile.

For a little while now he has been playing swords with us. He asks Spunky for rides down the stairs by bringing the sleeping bag to her. He pulls us by the hand to play chase and does the tickling motion to ask for tickles.

continuing to grow......

9 out of 12

Great News......the Rock has been given a publicly funded spot (free for us) at Carmen Pingree School for children with autism. We are so grateful for this opportunity and feel that it is a great blessing for all of us.

Carmen Pingree's approach is different from what we have been doing so there will be a lot of learning for all of us. I feel that it will give the Rock the ability to reach his potential. He has already come so far and we know that he will continue to succeed.

When you are accepted you go through an evaluation to make sure your child is a good fit. We spent 3hours at the school yesterday for this evaluation. The Rock was evaluated by an ABA trained teacher, the Speech Pathologist and the Psychiatrist. I was evaluated by the Psychiatrist (yes about Hagen, not me, that would have taken more than three hours....right?). I thought I was going to be way more emotional during this evaluation, but when it was over I was still laughing. When the Psychiatrist was done talking to me he handed me a piece of paper that showed me the 9 out of 12 autism characteristics the Rock has.

It was then my turn to ask questions, so I asked him the one that everyone asks me......"How autistic is he? or He doesn't look autistic, he must be high functioning. or Are you sure?" BTW These are all very rude, judgemental and very hurtful. He then said "He has 9 out of 12, he not mild. Mild would be 2 or 3, he has 9, he is right in the big middle." He then explained that the real question is "How is he functioning in four areas, Gross Motor/Fine Motor/Speech/Social?" Right now the Rock is at age level for Gross Motor, 24mo age for Fine Motor, 15mo age (preverbal) for Speech and Social. So..............no he is not at this time high functioning or anything else, just deep in the depths of autism, doing everything he can to succeed.

He is such a sweet loving little boy. That really lights up a room if you let him. It was so fun yesterday because everyone is always all gushy over him. He is doing so well and we are so proud of him and all the children and how well we all are able to work together. Finding PEACE within our pieces of life. PEACE by PIECE it will all fit together.

HOLY COW!!!

The Rock is moving along, just this week....... 1)When sharing Diet Coke (a love we have in common, don't judge me :) look at what it gets him to do) I can say "Mama's turn" and then he will point to himself to give him a turn. Today he even said his name. (grabbing my head and shaking it) WOW!! 2)Said "dank do" for thank you today (now I'm crying I'm so happy) 3)Played in a small room of 50 people, 35 were kids. He followed them a lot of the time and copied his brother. When they sat in a circle he sat in the circle next to his brother. He would drag his brother by the finger to go with him. This is so amazing, with everything going on he hung with the group. Sure he would take a time out and hide or stim with his hands, but overall he was AMAZING! 4)Said "cracker" 5)Cries if we leave him, because he wants to play WITH us. 6)Randomly he will drop whatever is in his hands and go and hug his brother. It is the MOST precious thing you have ever seen. It's never when I have my camera so I don't have a picture. Hopefully soon I will. It's so neat to see how much Taz loves to get hugs from the Rock. I don't even really get hugs. I get loves but not like this. I am so excited about all the fun things. My baby boy is a walking miracle everyday!

Deep Thoughts by SheRA

So........ A year ago I was give some inspiration as I felt like I was drounding in the chaos of life. Now the same inspiration has come back to me with different circumstances and slightly different meaning. This inspiration is something I hold dear and want to share with you to see if it can change any one else perspective like it did mine. (now that I've built up the not needed suspense, drum roll) WHAT IF WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH ISN'T HAPPENING TO HURT YOU, IT'S FOR SOMEONE ELSE? There are things that we go through in life not due to consequences or choices or someone elses bad decisions. Some things are just handed to us. I've spent some time being upset with the one that handed them to me, trying to figure out why I am the one with these things, because I don't feel like the right person. I've wondered, "Why so many things at the same time, one alone would be plenty". And then when I think about the thought that maybe these things aren't being handed to me, they are for me to help another, I am then the one in control of who I am and what I can handle. I can be a HERO for someone else. Considering the way I've handled things so far, If God gave grades I think I'm getting a D-. That just means there's room for improvement right? I don't even think it's a coppout when I say I really am doing my best. With that said I'm glad I have an example of how to move forward and improve. I thought about my Savior and how I'm sure from a young age he could have asked himself "Why is this being handed to me?" Fortunately he already had the understanding that what he was going through wasn't being done to him, it was being done for us, for me and for you. There may be some of you who are saying how could this be good for someone else? I don't know, but I know God has a much bigger plan than any of us can see and we have a choice to keep moving forward with what we've been handed and be someones HERO. A hero just because you are you. You are who they need. You never know who is watching and learning from YOU! Does this change your perspective??????(please no comments on how I'm doing)

French Toast & PEACE

Can eating french toast be considered a miracle? I think so! Sunday morning I fixed french toast for the fam. I arranged it all on the table with a big pile of french toast in the middle. As everyone gathered around the table the Rock came too (miracle #1 following the family and sitting at the table with us, to eat no less). The Rock then grabs a piece of french toast (miracle #2 98% of the time bread is not apart of his diet). HE EATS IT!!! (miracle #3 with all the textile issues he has he rarely eats something even if he's touched it). It's amazing how watching a little boy take small bites of french toast can fill your soul with delight. I do admit it was pretty amazing french toast, but I don't think I had anything to do with these miracles. I thank my God daily (and that's not enough) for the progress of my children and the tender mercies that are poured upon me. PEACE