to those we love.........and those that love us!

I'm sure you could get through life without letting people get close to you, but it would not be a fulfilling life. Sure it means that you open your self up for disappointment, heartache, and sadness at times BUT......you also feel more love, joy, and laughter than ever before. This is why we work so hard with those with Autism, so that they can experience life to it's fullest! It's amazing how much joy eye contact with the Rock brings to my soul. I am truly grateful for the special people in our lives that help us move forward, enjoy the little things and especial those that make us laugh! These moments keep us going in this unforgiving spiral we call life. Here are some highlights from the last few weeks. Sadie Lady, Oh How I love you........... your smile is infectious........your selflessness is relentless........your love is intoxicating.........

YOU ARE SO WONDERFUL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO WITHOUT YOU!

HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY!!!!

Scandelous, Intoxicanted, Exhillerating Party!

I do not and will not show pics of the crazy bash this woman put on for her birthday, but it rocked!! So glad I got to be apart of the party and especially apart of her life.

The things I can talk this man in to doing! He is such a troop and yes even sometimes a pooper (aren't we all), but last night he did not let me down and owned the night! He walked away with the best costume award and I believe any time he's dressed mostly nauked he should get best dressed! (again there will not be pics, sorry ladies! you had to be there)

Recently I went on a road trip with 5 wonderful women and had a great time! I'm so glad these women are who they are and have helped me become who I am now. It makes my heart swell with joy to know that I have video of my little sistas and mama doing the Macarena with a friendly local truck driver and a passerbyer. ;)

This is the way to post incriminating photos. BLACKOUT NIGHT turned out way fun, especially considering I had know idea what we were going to do when I sent the text to "Be there or Beware". Crazy Women + Ice + Squirt Guns + Hoses + Voices + Blended Drinks + Serranades + TP = Happiness and one Crazy A Night! Just another usual night in my life! The women who entertain me with their presence have become my life line to sanity! They will never understand how much they have saved me and given me PEACE......I love you all! Thank you!!!

On His Own

The magic of potato heads! The Rock really likes potato heads and it is the only toy that I have found that he will let me PRETEND with him. We build the potato head with all the features and then together we make them jump, dance, sleep, walk and kiss. It's awesome! The Rock is really good at physical, chasing, tickling play, most others we are just beginning to be able to do together and for him to want to do it.

Along with this has come a whole new level of understanding. I now feel and know that the Rock is comprehending a lot of what we are saying and telling him to do.

He can help put his shoes on and can take off his clothes (when told to, not just when he wants to). These are simple things that mean a great deal to us.

He is talking (sounds) a lot more, instead of stimming with his voice. More words are coming and we are so excited! We are so proud of the Rock and are so grateful for all the love and support we are given by so many. These simple pieces that give us PEACE.

Taz Turns FIVE

Buddies at the birthday party! Taz is loving Super Mario Wii so we had a Super Taz World Party and ran the obstacle course through the whole house! It was great to have everyone there. Thanks for being there for our big boy.

Yep! Another trip to the ER for stitches. He is so brave!

This boys brown eyes and smile melt my heart. He is such a sweetie and gives me loves whenever I need them. With all the sword play and rough housing you'd wonder sometimes if he has a tender bone in his body, HE DOES!

Fun pics to see how much he's grown.

Christina "Pretty" Perri Concert

Awesome Night! Mom and Dad w/ da Girls. :)

Nothing makes me happier than when I see smiles on my kiddos faces. No wonder we want only the best for our kids and to never see them cry. Smiles and laughing are so much better. Especially when childhood dreams come true.

So glad Aunties got to join in the fun with us.

Trying to Understand

It was said to me this week that someone WAS trying to understand what our life is like, true understanding only comes from living it everyday. We all have our own understanding of our own reality and until recently did even Heman really understand what life expects of us as parents of children with special needs. I believe EVERYONE has special needs, ours have special needs that take a lot longer for them to learn. I have used this blog as a documentation for myself and a positive outlook for us and others. I do try and explain somethings on here, but if this is all someone or anyone is using as a method of TRYING to UNDERSTAND how we are doing, all you are getting is a very positively slanted point of view. I do not go into the day to day trantrums caused by over stimulated Sensory Processing Disorder, which results in anyone of us being bitten, the Rock pounding his head on the nearest hard surface, screaming, throwing his heads, hands, legs and entire body in different directions, hitting the nearest person so hard it even makes me cry(if I'm the victim) AND includes not being able to understand why this is happening because HE CAN NOT TALK! I do not go into the stress in causes me to take him to a new place or store because of these tantrums. I do not go into the amount of worry he causes me because he DOES NOT EAT enough! I do not talk about the amount of guilt I deal with because I can never do enough for ALL of my children, because ALL of my children have learning disabilities and need extra help with school work and any kind of learning. I realize that all mothers have these sort of feelings and they are normal, however amplified they maybe by situations. There are many other things I do not go into on the blog, because this is not where I want to talk about them.

I DO NOT GO INTO THIS ON THE BLOG BECAUSE I HAVE MUCH TO BE GRATEFUL FOR AND I AM TRYING TO SPEND A LITTLE BIT OF TIME FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVE AND FINDING A LITTLE BIT OF PEACE out of the crazy pieces of our lives. These things are only about the children and being a mother. We all have many other different pieces of our lives and roles that we play and the last two years all of the those pieces have been difficult and I myself and TRYING to UNDERSTAND.

So if you are trying to understand what life is like for us you might want to read about autism and then ask me about it. Please ask me if something is possible before assuming that it is, because the most simple tasks are overwhelming for us right now and may not be possible. I enjoy helping others and the fact that I can't do as much as I would like to at this time is difficult for me. At this time my helping is on the Rock's terms and I'm doing everything I can to help him and the three other joys in our life.

Punky is 11!!!

Punky also wanted to go shopping so just her and Mom went out! We started at Claire's where she bought all the accessories she is wearing (nerdy glasses, tiara, sash and owl necklace). She HAD to wear them all! We then went to a few other stores where she purchased this adorable outfit and something to wear to the Christina Perri concert. The girls invited one friend to watch the movie Soul Surfer. It was a great day! We are so blessed to have the girls in our lives. Lately Punky has been rattling off all kinds of inspiring thoughts in difficult situations. We are really grateful for her sweet spirit and loving personality. She has brought PEACE to our minds and hearts.

99999 Spunky 99999

Spunky wanted to go shopping for her birthday, SO we did. Grammy came with us and made it that much more fun. Spunky wore this hat and birthday sash all over the mall and out to dinner at Red Robin. She would frequently brake out her runway walk and live it up! She is so much fun to be with. We had a great night shopping, eating and topped it off with a few friends, cake and ice cream!

eAstEr...........

with the Colorado cuzins. :) Earth Day was celebrated at the aquarium and finished off with watching African Cats on the big screen. It was a fun filled weekend with exploring the snow filled mountains and spotting Big Foot! We EXHAUSTED the children by swimming, playing chase, jumping, ultimate frisbee and their endless imaginary adventures! Aunt D of course exhausted her self by suppling us with endless gourmet meals and incredible hospitality as always. It is always a treat to visit our Colorado family. Easter day was lots of fun as you can see by the picture. By 3pm and right as we all sat down to dinner, the Rock sat up to the table to fill his belly. After one chicken nugget he laid his head down and fell asleep. He stayed in this position all through dinner and then was placed else where to sleep. So PEACEful!

socially grOWING

We are so grateful that the Rock has older siblings that he can learn from. A year ago he paid no attention to what they were doing. He had no interest in doing what they were doing and NOW.....

Last week Taz had a friend over and they were playing star wars and the Rock followed them all over the house, from top to bottom for about a half hour. He didn't engage in their game, but followed them and watched what they were doing.....he was learning!!!

At different times I will find the Rock pulling or following Taz and I love it! It's so much fun to see them interacting like typical siblings every once in awhile.

For a little while now he has been playing swords with us. He asks Spunky for rides down the stairs by bringing the sleeping bag to her. He pulls us by the hand to play chase and does the tickling motion to ask for tickles.

continuing to grow......

9 out of 12

Great News......the Rock has been given a publicly funded spot (free for us) at Carmen Pingree School for children with autism. We are so grateful for this opportunity and feel that it is a great blessing for all of us.

Carmen Pingree's approach is different from what we have been doing so there will be a lot of learning for all of us. I feel that it will give the Rock the ability to reach his potential. He has already come so far and we know that he will continue to succeed.

When you are accepted you go through an evaluation to make sure your child is a good fit. We spent 3hours at the school yesterday for this evaluation. The Rock was evaluated by an ABA trained teacher, the Speech Pathologist and the Psychiatrist. I was evaluated by the Psychiatrist (yes about Hagen, not me, that would have taken more than three hours....right?). I thought I was going to be way more emotional during this evaluation, but when it was over I was still laughing. When the Psychiatrist was done talking to me he handed me a piece of paper that showed me the 9 out of 12 autism characteristics the Rock has.

It was then my turn to ask questions, so I asked him the one that everyone asks me......"How autistic is he? or He doesn't look autistic, he must be high functioning. or Are you sure?" BTW These are all very rude, judgemental and very hurtful. He then said "He has 9 out of 12, he not mild. Mild would be 2 or 3, he has 9, he is right in the big middle." He then explained that the real question is "How is he functioning in four areas, Gross Motor/Fine Motor/Speech/Social?" Right now the Rock is at age level for Gross Motor, 24mo age for Fine Motor, 15mo age (preverbal) for Speech and Social. So..............no he is not at this time high functioning or anything else, just deep in the depths of autism, doing everything he can to succeed.

He is such a sweet loving little boy. That really lights up a room if you let him. It was so fun yesterday because everyone is always all gushy over him. He is doing so well and we are so proud of him and all the children and how well we all are able to work together. Finding PEACE within our pieces of life. PEACE by PIECE it will all fit together.