catching up

Punky is growing so fast! If you've talked to her lately you have learned that she is wanting to babysit your child. She is excited about getting more responsibilities and is wanting to test it out.......on your child. Punky and Spunky have started taking art classes from their Aunt Jessi and are loving it. It's so great having Aunt Jessi close to us now. Both of the girls are very talented artists and I love watching their talents multiply! Spunky has had her two front teeth knocked out by her brother and sister, what a trooper! She is a super tough girl and has proved it on the soccer field every Saturday for the last month. She loves to compete and chase after the ball. She's always in the middle of it. It's been so fun to cheer her on, you are welcome to join us any Saturday this next month. She is hearing more and more that she looks just like her Mom, she is so sweet and says "I know, Thanks." Taz is on to making a whirlwind at preschool. He was so excited to start school. On school days he says he doesn't want to go, but the next day (not a school day) he says he has to go. I'm glad he is liking it. School for the kids has always come with great stress and anxiety for me. Having Taz in a great school early is bringing me peace. This little boys nickname is right on the mark. He is a whirlwind of all boy and joy! Finding peace in motherhood is a daily chore for me and some days I don't succeed. I love my kiddos and don't want to do anything else, I just feel like Katniss sometimes. I can see how I am the reason things are so messed up, hard for my kids and how I have ruined my kids for life (please do not comment on this part, I know what the real answer). SO sometimes I need some time to catch up on sleep and energy. Luckily I have AWESOME friends that help me. I was able to go to VEGAS with a friend and catch up! It was a ton of fun as things always are with my buddies. Eating,Laughing,Crying,Sleeping,Singing,Swimming, and other crazy things are a so needed. This is how I keep some sort of PEACE in my life. Thanks to all my friends that keep me sane, you are angels in my life. My husband of course is the reason I am able to catch up and stay sane (occasionally the cause of my insanity), Thank you LOVE!!

IN YOUR FACE

So every day I am faced with the reality of progress in slow motion with the Rock, but progress nonetheless. I try hard to stay focused on the good things that are happening. I am constantly running here and there and catching up on all the normal MOM stuff along with side jobs here and there. Therefore I stay in my own reality a lot of the time, especially when it comes to the Rock. Last Friday my reality was knocked over. It was the first time I had my niece over for the whole day without any other kiddos, except the Rock. I knew this was going to be very good for him to have someone his own age to play around and watch. Usually all the big kids are around and so she runs off with them, well this day was different. They played side by side and didn't bother each other too much. I think for the Rock and my niece it was a great day for them. For me....the hardest day I've had in awhile. I had to keep myself from crying all day, because I felt that all day I had someone screaming at me "YOUR SON IS AUTISTIC! YOUR SON IS AUTISTIC! See the difference between these two?" Reality breached! OK I get it, I know and it's OK! It's just that sometimes we are faced with reality checks. Tough ones at times. We are looking forward to this Friday when my niece comes over again. What will she teach us next and how can we learn from her? Having her is a blessing in our lives and sometimes blessings hurtsdon'tit?

Progress!!!

Every day there is something wonderful that happens at our house, especially when you are counting up how many times you get eye contact. I can't believe that nine months ago my son couldn't do all the things he can do now...... *eye contact *plays with us *talk- words come and go and what we had a year ago we don't have today, but what we do have is good and we've had it for awhile....go, more, candy, cookies (food), drink, shoes, ball, most of these are sounds and signs for words, but I'm so glad he is understandin a need to talk to us. *comes to me for comfort *less stimiling more regulating *wants to be with us *understands "Let's go!" (this happend last week and Spunky pointed out to Nana "Did you see that, that was a miracle, he just listened and followed my mom!" She was so elated with joy for her brother. The simple things!! *holds my hand when walking (most of the time) I hope that after reading these things you can add them to your list of simple blessings everyday. I didn't count these as blessings with the others, I took these simple things for granted. I don't ANY more! I thank my Heavenly Father every day that the Rock has never forgotten or lost the ability to kiss me when asked. This is a total miracle and I am so grateful. The kisses I get from my little boy are the highlights to my life. I hope you get kisses every day! Love Me XXXX

Seriously !!! BLESSED

Today the Rock just started laughing. I have no idea why he was giggling so much. It didn't happen just once either. This kind of giggling is not an every day thing, even though he is usually happy. This laughter is pure JOY and you can't help but giggle with him or in my case cry for JOY. Even in our times of trials, I CAN count my blessings! I think we all could take a good 10min. and talk about our trials. We can also take a good 15min. or more and count our blessings, joys and the things that make us laugh. I have to share a few of my incredible blessings over the last little while. I am over come with the amount of support we have received from all of you who want to come walk/run with us in a few weeks. We can't wait to be with all of you in one place. We need and want you all to be there. Thank you for your efforts. The last two years have been a doozy and when you have loved ones rally for you and your baby in a time of need, my gratitude is endless. Two weeks ago I needed help to raise money for treatment. We were in a time crunch and I needed all my resources. My Dad of course was the first one in line. The event was Saturday morning and come Friday night 9pm my dad calls and says "I just flew in, my wrists don't work and my knees are shot, are we a go tomorrow? I'm there!!" I hated the fact that I needed him any way he was willing. I can't put into words what that kind of love like that feels like to receive. The next day was a hard one for my dad, but as always he endured it well. All for me and my son. My mother who always gives has put together a work lunch at the airport to raise $$$ to donate for the charity Daybreak 5k. I appreciate my mom always going the extra mile and exhausting all resources to make miracles happen. Thank you Jen and Russ for donating to this lunch and make it more profitable. Thank you Continental for making it happen. Our amazing family and friends made it possible for us to move and get settled in one day. Moving again weighed so heavy on everyone in our family. Yet with the help and love from all of you it was smooth sailing. We are blessed to have each and every one of YOU!!! It has been wonderful to be welcomed by sweet treats, little ones knocking on the door and visits. It's the little things in life that give the most, a hug, bread, cookies, a knock on the door, a phone call, an invitation all have made us feel at home. I could keep going on and on and not to show anyone up, I needed to share my gratitude for me and my family. I hope that you are counting your blessings. My 15min. are up. We love you and hope you know how special you are to our family.

Come WALK for the ROCK......

On September 18th, Saturday @ 10am Daybreak 5k for Operation Kids Scholarship Fund for Autism. All proceeds will go to scholarship funds for many families receiving treatment, including us. It is not possible for the Rock to get the help he needs without this scholarship, so we are asking forc help. Registration is only $5 with the encouragement for everyone raise additional funds to donate. If you would just like to donate to Operation Kids Scholarship Fund for Autism please go to the registration site and click "donate". We encourage everyone to tell everyone about this great event. All of you that would like to walk/run in honor of the Rock please contact me so that we can make matching shirts saying WALK for the ROCK! Not only will there be a fun walk/run that day, Daybreak will also be hosting a health fair and a Fizz Fest with lots of fun activities for kids. I hope that all of you will come and enjoy this day with us!

Talents and Autism

Check out my post on Autism Journeys Blog about talents. I've included a video of the Rock swimming. If you haven't had the pleasure of watching this miracle you've missed out and don't have to anymore. The first time we went to the pool this summer I had every mother and life guard jumping on me and him, making sure I was paying attention and he wasn't drowning. Everyone is used to us now so it tends to be a bit less stressful. Hope you enjoy watching.

MOtiVAtion

This is the Rock's new found motivation, Ms. Gamee. We started working with Gamee to teach the Rock how to walk and stay with me, instead of running away ALL the time. After just one lesson (which I wasn't sure was successful) the Rock knew what to do with Gamee. Kate Andersen, Gamee's mom and founder of Autism Journeys, was walking ahead of the Rock with Gamee and the Rock started reaching and whimpering for Gamee. This action is outstanding for the Rock. He has just recently started to ask seldom for food or drink, so for him to ask for Gamee after just one time I was shocked. I am optimistic that Ms. Gamee can pull more out of my angel and can't wait to be there to witness the next miracle and milestone! To find out more about Ms. Gamee, canine therapist, or Autism Journeys checkout their website www.autismjourneys.net or the blog www.autismjourneys-aj.blogspot.com. We love this place and people who bless our lives every day.

SWIMMING

For all of you out there who have seen me or will see me at the pool, NO the Rock IS NOT DROWNING!!! I AM watching him and he is having the time of his life. I promise to post a video with him swimming because it's incredible. I know it may look scary but it's not. It is difficult for him to have me so close all the time so I give him some space here and there. I also make him work by getting him to talk to me by asking for "more" when I throw him in the pool or have him count "1,2,3" and jump in off the side. The fact that I can get him to talk to me in the pool with so much going on is huge. Sometimes I can get him to LOOK and talk to me but not always so this is what I'm trying hard to work on. BUT he can't work all the time so I MUST give him a break and back off for a minute. The Rock is SO incredibly happy in the pool it's amazing. He is almost 21/2 and with a life jacket can so freestyle and breaststroke, which of course is all self taught because it's not like he would follow any instruction even if I tried. He can hold his breath longer than Taz and knows that when he needs a breath or a rest to roll onto his back and float. It's amazing his instincts to do this. Punky was the same way at the same age only difference is that although she had many instinctual qualities she still also learned by following our directions. So if you happen to see us in the pool you are witness to something amazing and wonderful. I consider myself lucky to be apart of it and hope that you do to. ***I do realize accidents happen everyday and know one is exempt from them. I appreciate your concern on our behalf and thank you for watching out for my little ones.

autism & trips

Every time I leave the house and go somewhere out of the norm I am always shocked by how comfortable I am at home and how anxious I am everywhere else. SO a trip is far above the occasional visit other than home. A trip with the Rock brings a whole new meaning to anxious and yet I get comfortable in my routine and think "Sure! We can go on a trip, it will be good to do something new." This statement is true, HOWEVER it doesn't make anything easier. I realize life can always be harder and I am extremely blessed for everything I have. A trip for the Rock is way more difficult for him than me, he just can't explain that it's difficult. If the Rock had had a choice he would have stayed inside the hotel room the entire time playing with the fabulous toys the Johnson's brought or swimming in the pool (but even that got too cold after awhile). The torture of having to eat or stay with us at all times or be with so many people all the time was a lot to take in. I think all in all we did OK....except when it came to sleep. Only one out of the four nights did the Rock sleep. This is so NOT normal that this was the wake-up call that life was way difficult for him. Once we were home it took us a week to get back to normal sleeping patterns, no tantrums(head banging) over everything, playing with us again and eating something was a huge accomplishment by the end of the week home. I think everyone has to adjust to changes, but for the Rock it's just a little bit harder and I don't know what he wants or needs. This I hate and can't wait for the day he can tell me. No this does not mean that I'm not going to go on a trip again, it just means I am aware and will do my best every time to make it the best experience for everyone.

FaMilY TrIp

We were all excited to go to the beach for the first time in a year. We have all missed it so much!!! On top of that we went with the whole family (missing the Kinsmans :( . We all had a great time at the pool, happy hour, and our daily enormous breakfast (these were the favs). We enjoyed a nice bike ride, until a tire popped luckily close to home. A good old fashion pirate treasure hunt was a highlight with kite flying on the side. AND of course what's a family trip without a little drama....no not any fights (other than the usual banter between Heman and Grammy) just a small panic when Taz went jumping into the pool after his sisters, while forgetting he wasn't wearing his life jacket. Taz paddled as hard as he could until a good Samaritan jumped in and saved our sweet Taz. These are some of the captured moments I got, Kel and Sade got more.