Top 5 Common Response to Autism

First of all I'm so excited to be a host for the very first #It'sAllSpecial monthly round up. I hope that you will share your posts with us and together we can uplift and inspire one another.

The older The Rock gets the more often I find it necessary to tell people he has autism. At the park the kids notice he doesn't talk and ask me why. Other kids ask him questions and he ignores them they ask why. Adults ask him how old he is and he won't look at them. When he was younger he could get away with this behavior and people would wave it off. Now it's not that simple. Sometimes I need to tell people he has autism for his safety. Most of the time I tell someone the Rock has autism I brace myself for impact because the "conversation plane" is about to crash.

Here are my top 5 common responses when I tell someone "My so has autism" AND what I wish I could say (only sometimes, sarcasm helps) and how I actually politely reply.

#5 "I'm sorry" with a frown
     WISH~ "I'm NOT he's the most amazing blessing in my life. I'm sorry YOU weren't special enough for him to be yours." 
      ACTUAL~ "He's an amazing boy!"

#4 "oh, awesome. Not that it's awesome he's autistic."
    WISH~ "Yeah, let me tell you what IS awesome! Watching you squirm." Jk that's mean and I'm too nice but sometimes I wish I could say that. Most of the time people just don't know what to say. I've done this myself. Ugh!
    ACTUAL~ "You're right he is awesome!"

#3 "How did you know?"
    WISH~ "He told me, duh?" or "I took a quiz online and diagnosis him myself." 
    ACTUAL~ "Two near death experiences and a lot of other signs" sometimes I share THE story if they ask more. 

#2 "He doesn't look autistic."
    WISH~ "You just can't see the mark right now. Ill show you later." Autism doesn't have "a look" and the spectrum is wide. When you say this it comes across as an accusation that the parent, doctors and specialists are wrong and you know more than anyone. 
     ACTUAL~ "He's beautiful and/or perfect!"

#1Common Response and the one I hate the most. Not the person just the question. "How autistic is he?" or "We'll he's high function right?" What if he's not high functioning and you just stuck your foot in your mouth again AND you rubbed salt into an open emotional wound. 
    WISH~ "You tell me, he doesn't speak independently, we've never had a conversation, he whines or screams at me for the last to help him and its a guessing game all day (that I rock at, NOW), he's constantly in danger if I let him get out of my sight for more than 5 min., he doesn't play with friends, he obsesses over movie trailers, he gags at most foods." On and on I could go. 
      ACTUAL~"mildly severe still learning to talk although he rocks at swimming, climbing and jumping." It's ok to focus on the positive. Our kiddos need to hear us talk about their talents and praise them. It feeds their spirits when we do. 

Here's some suggested responses, that I'm grateful to hear on very very rare occasions, therefore not on the "common" response list. 
"He looks like a great kid!"
"He's a cute kid."
"You're a lucky mom, he's special."
Give any other kind of compliment. We are all fighting a tough battle and we can use all the encourage we can give one another. Inspire one another by focusing on the positive. This quote is a good one.


  1. You do ROCK at being his Mommy. You are amazing. He is amazing. I love watching him grow. HE teaches us everyday. Thanks for being so special so we could be close to such an amazing person.

  2. Thanks for hosting and for sharing this post! I have so many similar feelings about my sons. I would just love it if someone offered to do my laundry! I think that is a great response!

    1. I would love someone to do my laundry! If anyone asks I will say yes, consider yourself warned. :) Thanks for including me in this journey.

  3. I just love you and your Rock so much. I've loved getting to know him. He's a wonderful child who really has a great sense of humor. I've learned a lot from him AND you!

    1. My thoughts exactly my dear! Thank you for all your support.

  4. I loved this post! I am excited to get to know you & Rock better!

    1. I look forward to that too. I love planning events as well, let's do something together.

  5. Awesome? I haven't heard that one before. That is bizarre. Have you gotten the questions about what special savant talents he has yet? My brother was a teenager when Rainman came out and that was a frequent question.

    1. Haha I have been asked what talents he has and I explain exactly what his talents are. I let them take it however they want. It's hard for people to understand the whole spectrum, even other autism families sometimes. I had a few parents of Aspie kiddos asking me why my son doesn't talk, while we were at an Autism Mommies Night Out.

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