happy birthday HAGEN 2!!

Brigham finally agrees that the Rock is his mini me! It's so hard to get him to hold still that him in the carseat is a good place to take a picture. This is his deep stare before dosing off. We love him so much and know that he is a blessing in ourlives. When the Rock turned one we learned that he didn't like cake as he cried when we tried to feed it to him. It was so cute! We have learned that chocolate is the only thing he truly desires. My heart was complete when he was placed in my arms. He is an amazing child!

Dental Emergency

Before Dental Magic at Dr. Stevenson Office @ 8pm (amazing peds dentist) After Dental Magic and Bravest Fe' Ever! Fe' was pushing Hagen around Grammy's house in a metal toy dump truck. Hagen got out unexpectedly and so the truck hit Fe' in the mouth. We are so grateful for everyone's help and concern and especially for Dr. Stevenson and his Assistant. Fe' was very nervous but pulled out the strength from inside to handle it all.

venting, spiting, crying, confused fit

I know I can write this because no one reads this anyway, Right? I am so confused with life right now on so many levels. #1 I don't understand why being a SAHM is so hard for me. Everyone else seems to be loving it. #2 I don't understand why we have to have 10 trials at the same time instead of 1 at a time. All 10 are big ones not just I bumped my head and stubbed my toe. #3 I don't understand why we are not suppose to talk about our trials and if I do I feel week and that I have failed the test of life. #4 I don't understand why it is either funny, wrong, or sad to have a belief in something. Is it just me or does it seem that ex-mormons have the most to say about what they hate about the church. I rarely find someone from another faith spouting off about how their faith did them wrong. Ultimately it is always your choice and your reality. I don't go looking for anything about mormons but I always find something about how it sucks to be mormon or why it's wrong. Why is it I have to go to lds.org to read anything good about the mormon faith. #5 I don't understand why going to work is easier than staying home with kids. #6 I don't understand why men and women have to be so different that they never ever will completely understand each other. #7 I don't understand why once we have figured out who we are and what we are good at, it is taken away. #8 I don't understand why our plans especially when they are really good ones never work out the way we want to. #9 I don't understand why I have to write this thinking it will make me feel better in any way. I'm sure it's not, so no need to try and answer any of these. #10 I don't understand why we can't just live the life we WANT TO and nobody else is going to put it down, tell me no, or make me feel ridiculous. That's enough for now and forever, but I'm sure it won't be and that there won't ever be answers for any of these that I want to hear.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL

This year has been an eventful one for sure. We are so blessed with great family, wonderful friends, and a knowledge of God and his ever giving love to all. Below is just a few of the highlights. We miss many of you so very much and pray that you know how special you are to us even though we are far away. We wish you all a very Merry Christmas!!

Where does TIME fly? and WHY does it go so fast!

*disclaimer ramblings and random deep thoughts* (this is me venting no need to read unless you have some really awesome insight that won't piss me off. easy to do these days, sorry!) the last year has been one overwhelming ride. one filled with laughter and tears. i know, i know this is everyones story, and yet we are continually reminded of how sweet and bitter life can be. a friend told me the other night that we are not sent here to earth to be entertained but to simply learn and have joy. when he said this it made joy so much more subdued. i thought that, had i had this mentality sooner i wouldn't be searching for the long awaited time out that i think i deserve. deserve what? i know!, i deserve to smile and find joy in my posterity and to learn as much as i can. can i just take a time out from learning for a minute to catch my breath. i promise i'll come back we all do eventually, right? why is it so easy to get lost? i know i'm weird and am just analyzing too much. again sorry if you read this. it's been a long time since i vented and my journal wouldn't cut it.

thriving three

our litte man(aka) turtle, taz, avatar, buzz lightyear, spiderman, HEMAN! the center of the chaos and the peacemaker of our lives

to infinity and beyond, by the power of greyskull, and with the strength of the elements he keeps me going and going and going

the one who can be reasoned with, the one who makes us laugh, the one who runs for his life, the one who loves the alligators

GO COUGS!!!! brainwashed by their fathers

monkey face

dazed and confuzed we love you dude crush. you are totally sweet dude. we think you are awesome. we would be lost without you.

FATHER'S DAY

father's day is a funny day to me. mother's day is a day set aside for peace and escape from the day to day responsibilities and father's day is the day for the father to just be the DAD! they have the responsibility to play all day with the kids! this is just my interpretation. i feel that my children and i are blessed to have such amazing men in our lives. Brigham is an incredible father. we are grateful for his love and dedication to take care of all of us. our happiness is his first priority and it continually amazes me. he is a wonderful companion, father and friend who blesses our lives daily. we are grateful for our fathers who taught us piggy one a motion, to pick our nose, to read, to love the gospel and especially the one who knows everything! we wouldn't be who we are now without you teaching us all the time. the one that is there whenever we need you, ready to listen and give thoughtful or no advice. we are so thankful for the love that comes from all of you. thank you for your example.

on the road........AGAIN!!!

i guess since our house is in boxes its official, we are moving back west. brig's job is going well and they need someone in the west. we are not sure where we are going to land at this point. we are looking at colorado and utah. brig leaves on the 29th for work in denver for a couple of weeks and i am staying here for a few more weeks for fe' to finish school. life is a rollercoaster and it's been one crazy ride the last year.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

i love being a mother. especially these special tender moments. you don't realize how much you are able to love until you have one of your own (whatever way that comes). GOD really does know what he's doing! everyday i thank him for blessing me with the ability to be a mother. i am also very grateful for my mother. her sacrifice in the behalf of me and my sisters is overwhelming and miraculous. i am grateful to see parts of her in me and to know that she has helped become who i am today and inspired me to continue to be better. i have been blessed to have known and shared time with my grandmothers. these women are amazing and it is fun to listen to their wisdom. they have taught me much. there have also been many other women who have shown me love and guidance along my journey so far. there are times when us as moms can't do it all and we need others to step in and help. to those women i thank you. i needed you and you were miracles in my life. there are mothers (family and friends) that that are an inspiration to me and my children. thank for loving me enough to teach me what i need to learn and loving my babies like i do. i hope you all have a wonderful day being a mom.