*disclaimer ramblings and random deep thoughts* (this is me venting no need to read unless you have some really awesome insight that won't piss me off. easy to do these days, sorry!) the last year has been one overwhelming ride. one filled with laughter and tears. i know, i know this is everyones story, and yet we are continually reminded of how sweet and bitter life can be. a friend told me the other night that we are not sent here to earth to be entertained but to simply learn and have joy. when he said this it made joy so much more subdued. i thought that, had i had this mentality sooner i wouldn't be searching for the long awaited time out that i think i deserve. deserve what? i know!, i deserve to smile and find joy in my posterity and to learn as much as i can. can i just take a time out from learning for a minute to catch my breath. i promise i'll come back we all do eventually, right? why is it so easy to get lost? i know i'm weird and am just analyzing too much. again sorry if you read this. it's been a long time since i vented and my journal wouldn't cut it.