so it's midnight and i am antsy and disturbed wouldn't you be. i'm moving! but that's not what i want to talk about. the thing on my mind is friends and why it's so difficult to say the truth. i wish someone(in particular ) and others would just tell me out right "i don't really like you." then i wouldn't waste 3yrs trying to be their friend and continually get my feelings hurt when i am not invited to do things after i have invited them to everything and they always come(so wouldn't i think they wanted to be my friend, no they wanted to be friends with everyone else at the event). i realize that by thinking this way that i probably inadvertently done this to someone and if you are reading this i am truly, truly sorry. i should've just told you "don't waste your time on me, i'm not a fan." i understand that i would then need to not get offended if someone said this to me and i can't promise that i wouldn't, but wasting 3yrs of energy and time on something is stupid. shame on me for being so dense for so long. so this is my advice don't be rude with words or behind some one's back, but don't lead someone on!! didn't we learn this when we were dating? it hurts to get dumped but it's better than being strung along. rip the band aid off and let the healing start. you always come out stronger once you know what's hurt or wrong. not that anything is wrong with me. (heehee) but after living here i truly understand that sometimes people just don't click and that is ok!!!! don't act like you want to be my friend or that you like me so that you won't hurt my feelings, cause guess what? you did. sorry for the sadness. i'm not sad just pensive and trying to workout what life is all about. i believe that relationships are what life is all about and can perfect us if we learn from everyone around us,what to do or not to do.