what not to say.....
to a parent of an autistic child.
#1 No he's not. I don't believe it.
#2 He doesn't look autistic.
#3 Why do you think that?
#4 What gifts does he have?
#5 My kid does/did that too.
#6 Who told you that?
#7 He's too young to be diagnosed.
#8 Don't give him a label.
#9 You should discipline your child better?
#10 He doesn't act like other autistic kids I know.
The truth is if you've met one kid with autism you've met ONE kid. There is a huge spectrum of autism and EVERYONE is different. I know that no one has said these things to hurt anyone, but the thing is it does especially at the beginning of this journey. At the beginning your head is spinning and you question everything you are doing and not doing. You go through every stage of grief because you have lost something, your child. You are not sure of anything any more because the life you had is over and you are on a new journey. SO any question that question you or your decisions, cuts to the bone. All anyone ever needs is to be validated, to be reinforced that they are doing the best they can. We all just need love, support, and prayers. We are doing the best we can.
***if you have said these things to someone don't worry, they have already let it go...probably.
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People are so stupid. I don't have an autistic child but my sisters do and seeing their sons I never judge anyone because you just don't know what their situation is. Hollie's got some great stories of strangers giving her a piece of their minds.
ReplyDeletePeople just shouldn't say anything
people are very naive. and many people dont realize the things that spill out their mouth or that those things are hurtful. I work with autistic children all day. I hope that you learn everything you can about autism so that you are informed and involved in not just caring for your child but to be there for him just like he's a normal kid. All they need is a loving and supportive environment and he will strive in his own way. I pray that god gives you the strength that you need. If you need anything at all let me know. I'd be happy to help. I love you
ReplyDeleteGotta love some people right. These people are everywhere, unfortunetly unavoidable! I know that you are such a great mom, and that you can handle anything! I love you and am proud of you. life is hard, but rely on those close to you who truly love you, they are the ones who really matter. if you need anythng, even if it is just someone to call and talk to, don't hesitate! Keep your chin up!
ReplyDeleteWe all say Kids say the darnedest things, but really us adults can really put our foot in our mouth a lot! People are morons. I love you.
ReplyDelete