My 2017 One Word

  I'm not going to lie, this one is very hard for me. Last year I debated not picking a word but knew long before January what the word would be so I went with it. This last month I have fought off every inkling of idea of a word for 2017. I'm just wasn't sure I wanted to have a clear focus but as the first few seconds of 2017 rang in I knew my word, CLARITY. 

   I know this word will take on lots of different meanings over the year but the biggest idea or definition that is shouting at me today is that I first need to find clarity in being transparent and clear in my understanding of my self, health, spiritual, relationships and financial standing as of today. 

  Today I share with you my naked vulnerable true CLARITY. I know as I am vulnerable I give my thoughts and ideas to the world, which can then return to my open heart, mind and soul to help, heal and inspire me. 

Enjoying new found self and acceptance as I know longer live in a box that someone else created for me to live in.  I LIKE ME! I like my values, my beliefs, what I stand for and the purpose I have here on earth. Learning to love myself in a way that I only accept the kind of love from me and others that I'm worth. I WORTH it! Feeding this love through studying and self care is what keeps me capable to keep going everyday.  How do you love you?

Health? I'm SICK, ugh I don't want to talk about this but I need to say something because my usual invisible disease, Ulcerative Colitis, has overtaken my face as it continues to retain water swelling to a size where I no longer recognize the person in the mirror. (yes, I fight off tears every day and yes, I know it could be worse) My disease and I hit rock bottom after being in a flare for over a year, the week before Thanksgiving. UC is a really shitty disease (pun intended because I hate talking about my disease and what it does). I would wish it on my enemies (if I had any). Stress is the main cause of a flare so with all going on this last year it's been very difficult on my body. At Thanksgiving the only option was to go on prednisone (a strong anti inflammatory) that will hopefully put me into remission by February. However the side effects of this drug are super fun (NOT, the water retention hurts, I sweat profusely {EW! gross}, I'm loosing my hair, etc.) and have left me wondering Whose face is this??? 

This new year I will be weaning off the prednisone, cleansing, exercising, trying some new western meds (Protandem) and open to anything else you want to share with me. How do you stay healthy? Are you fighting for your life? How do you fight peacefully? How do you reduce stress?

Spiritually I feel like my relationship with God is better than it's been in years even though that doesn't look like the picture perfect mormon church ad I've subscribed to in the past and totally support my family and friends in doing what's right for them. I don't know if I'll ever want that picture again. If I do I will be true to myself and go with it, but for now that's not it. My knowledge of truth, light and love are what I live by. This keeps me grounded and raw in the truth of God as we are all ONE. I'm open to truth and light in all forms even from others, I love that special friends can look into my soul and share with me insights to help me understand myself and see what I need. I want more of this in my life. How do you fill your spiritual bucket? 

Motherhood is a choice everyday to be present. My children are going through so much right now individually, on top of their parents getting divorced and dad getting remarried all within 3 months, its left us all spinning wildly trying to find a new normal. As the mom these past few months I've spent most of my hours sustaining my children's emotional well being and physical needs. Which makes all the stuff above even more important to have in order. 

Relationships can come in many forms and are said to be the most important thing here on earth. I cherish the people in my life and enjoy serving them.  I am open to what comes my way. I'm taking one day at a time and accepting what comes with open arms. I don't want to deny myself what I'm worth wether that comes now or later. I will cultivate richer relationships in all aspects of my life. How do you cultivate deep meaningful relationships? 

Financially I am sure I need to stick to a budget, JESS help! (haha) I sold my half of the company so I am looking for the next thing for me either as an entrepreneur or employee in order to provide financially for me. It's important to me that whatever it is I do I use my strengths and talents in a position where I GIVE and RECEIVE equally. My dream opportunity is to run a philanthropic organization I believe in. Therefore I am working on my own called Power Play, an indoor playground with a focus on nuerodiverse acceptance. I've also applied to The Younique Foundation. I hope for and would love to see both of these become a reality soon. 

This is my CLARITY today, January 1st, 2017. 

Now I stretch my arms open wide and ask for the light and love needed to fulfill my purpose. I need you, angels and God to help me achieve all I need to. 

#Clarity2017 #gettingClear