It was said to me this week that someone WAS trying to understand what our life is like, true understanding only comes from living it everyday. We all have our own understanding of our own reality and until recently did even Heman really understand what life expects of us as parents of children with special needs. I believe EVERYONE has special needs, ours have special needs that take a lot longer for them to learn. I have used this blog as a documentation for myself and a positive outlook for us and others. I do try and explain somethings on here, but if this is all someone or anyone is using as a method of TRYING to UNDERSTAND how we are doing, all you are getting is a very positively slanted point of view. I do not go into the day to day trantrums caused by over stimulated Sensory Processing Disorder, which results in anyone of us being bitten, the Rock pounding his head on the nearest hard surface, screaming, throwing his heads, hands, legs and entire body in different directions, hitting the nearest person so hard it even makes me cry(if I'm the victim) AND includes not being able to understand why this is happening because HE CAN NOT TALK! I do not go into the stress in causes me to take him to a new place or store because of these tantrums. I do not go into the amount of worry he causes me because he DOES NOT EAT enough! I do not talk about the amount of guilt I deal with because I can never do enough for ALL of my children, because ALL of my children have learning disabilities and need extra help with school work and any kind of learning. I realize that all mothers have these sort of feelings and they are normal, however amplified they maybe by situations. There are many other things I do not go into on the blog, because this is not where I want to talk about them.
I DO NOT GO INTO THIS ON THE BLOG BECAUSE I HAVE MUCH TO BE GRATEFUL FOR AND I AM TRYING TO SPEND A LITTLE BIT OF TIME FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVE AND FINDING A LITTLE BIT OF PEACE out of the crazy pieces of our lives. These things are only about the children and being a mother. We all have many other different pieces of our lives and roles that we play and the last two years all of the those pieces have been difficult and I myself and TRYING to UNDERSTAND.
So if you are trying to understand what life is like for us you might want to read about autism and then ask me about it. Please ask me if something is possible before assuming that it is, because the most simple tasks are overwhelming for us right now and may not be possible. I enjoy helping others and the fact that I can't do as much as I would like to at this time is difficult for me. At this time my helping is on the Rock's terms and I'm doing everything I can to help him and the three other joys in our life.
