a new year, a new day, a new piece, a new peace

I am revamping this blog and although it will have the same updates and insights into our lives, it will also have a new focus......PEACE. I need to see the peace that is given to all of us. I've accepted that the trials don't stop, they don't get easier they just get different and "Added Upon" (a book my father gave me at a younger age). I woke up this morning distraught with sadness and confusion. (when I mention these things I don't always need an "I'm sorry" just keep reading to find the peace I find) Although I can't change the destruction and poison of others I can choose how to handle it. I'm still now sure on the final decision right now, but I do know one thing (the peace)........... GOD LIVES, JESUS IS THE CHRIST AND THERE IS A GREATER PURPOSE TO ALL OF THIS! I spent a lot of time being mad at God and not wanting to go through the things he sees fit to give me. I question him and the purpose and the meaning and yet that is the actual thing that keeps me grounded. Because no matter how mad, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, confused and angry I am, the thought always comes to me "If you are mad at God, you must still know he is there." Among all the bad feelings come the miracles everyday, you know the ones I have talked about the last year, and they are numerous. 13 years ago I sat with Elder Neal A. Maxwell and listened to him tell us not to ask "Why" because it is a form of doubting God. I use to think that doubt and faith could not coexist. I now think that sometimes faith is just one step in front of the other with or without doubt. The faith to keep moving through is all I have sometimes. All I have is the words above and no other explanation as to "Why" or "What will be", BUT those words do give peace to me. I love he loves me some how, some way. I have and do continually feel the love of God everyday.