What do you see?

Because the Rock is still small and young and his gross motor skills are AWESOME (one of his super talents) people see him as a typical child at first, which is great....until the actions and reactions of a typical child are expected and not received. "Once you've met one child with Autism, you've met ONE child." Autism doesn't have a distinct look or outward tell tell sign all the time. When I see the Rock, I see the Rock! The baby, boy and man he was always meant to be, in all of his GLORY!

progress not measured

It's that time of year when we all go to Parent Teacher Conferences, Ugh!! This has never been fun for me. I work my a$% off every day as a mother and then I get measured by teachers. I know it's not about me, but when your child does not do well in school, it's about you. Not really but that's how I feel, anyone else? I just want the kids to go to school, do their best and come home and do something they are really good at, such as rock climbing, swimming, video games, running, singing, dancing, drawing and everything else. So here's the progress measured and not measured.......

Punky is starting middle school next year and has a hard time remembering just about everything. She is an amazing story teller, especially to us about how she did her homework and turned it in (but that all happens in fantasy land not reality). I believe she can be a renowned novelist or actress, she's that believable. She keeps getting asked to be on the competition team in rock climbing, but she doesn't want to, but she's really good.

Spunky had to change teachers and is enjoying school instead of crying every day because she thinks her teacher thinks she's stupid. She's able to do most of her homework on her own now, so we don't have fits every night cause "She CAN'T do it" yes CAN'T is a potty word in our house too, but so is shit and I still say that. Spunky keeps recording herself singing on her itouch and she is really awesome, I think!

Taz is in love with the cute girl that sits next to him. He has lots of friends, read ok and is going to do it all again next year so he's not as behind like the girls were. I finally have a teacher that supports my ideas and for that I'm SO grateful. Taz is so fun and I enjoy playing with him, he always wants to be doing something, yep he's mine.

The Rock, the Rock, the Rock I don't know if I'll ever be able to leave his conferences without crying. Like I said before I love talking about his miracles, what he does do: hugs, kisses, can now mimick "I love you", run, climb, sit through church, comprehends so much more than 6mo. ago. I know you need to know where you're at in order to move on, I don't want to live in denial, the hard cold facts are still hard, cold and painful. The Rock turned four and is still at an 15-18mo old speech delay

18-24mo old social delay

18-24mo old fine motor delay

36 mo old gross motor delay

I know all of this and so may you, but I just see my son day in and day out and just want him to know he's loved and I know he does. Its a balancing act between finding peace with where you are at and hoping for much more so I don't expect any less of him than he is capable of.

All of my children are AMAZING individuals and I just hope that my love is enough, because I can't do much more than just love them. Love is Enough!

Oh My Goodness.......

we made it through '11. A little bruised. Did I let out a huge sigh when the ball dropped and it's a new year. So I had to have a new project and that's how the Hunger Games for Autism event came to life.

I was out and about the whole month getting sponsors and working on this event and found so much happiness and my soul filled with life. At the end of the month I realized that this event is one I've been waiting for my whole life. Last year as I was thinking about my legend, purpose, mission that I am meant to do, I've now found. Funny though, I found it as a senior in high school with my BFF Sarah Booth as we put on a Charity Fundraiser. Life goes full circle and I just needed to give it that time to come. It's here and I've loved all of it. Dang it, I'm good at it! I love events and I love projects with my sistas!

I love doing something about/for Autism. Unless you live with it, it doesn't effect you and it needs to. We all need help and this is an epidemic all over the world! I always thought I needed to go to a different country to help the needy, NOPE it's right here in my own home that need help.

Christmas Miracles

I know, I know it's been months since Christmas of 2011 and some of you are already planning Christmas of 2012 but I have to record what happend, if I can remember.

Top 10 Peace filled Christmas miracles.....

10) we made it through

9) we were able to host most of the events. I know for a lot of you that would not be a miracle but with the Rock and all of his sensory processing issues it means we were able to be present for all of the events and didn't have to leave early. Although it lead to me not cooking one meal in all of January '12.

8) not one of us gained any weight..........cause we were sick. Once Punky got sick I just stopped eating because listening to her throw up all night I was hoping that wouldn't happen to me.....it did. :P I didn't eat for a week cause I didn't want to throw up and then I didn't eat much cause I was sick and then I just didn't want to. yes, I am back to eating even though Heman told me not to, cause he liked the way I looked (JOKING of course ;0)

7)I was able to get everyone's gifts and Heman even went one night with me. It doesn't matter that I had him as my hostage on a date. He was helpful for A minute or two. That may have lead to why I didn't receive ANY gifts (not joking).

6)We were able to get cute pics of all of us and send them out! If you didn't get one it's cause I ran out and you were on the bottom of the list, haha, it means your name starts with N cause that's where I got in my address book.

5)Santa stopped by to remind us all what Christmas is really about and that he is only a symbol of our Savior. I love that my kiddos know the book I Believe by heart. It's perfect to keep everything in remembrance. The Rock hugged Santa all by himself and even said "HO, HO, HO! It was such a tender moment!

4)Punky and Spunky sang in church and it was very sweet. I love those girls!

3)All of our family and friends who share their love with us.

2)EVERYONE (including the Rock) opened their presents! The girls were so excited and Taz couldn't wait to put together is Lego's. For the last two years Christmas has been a bitter sweet for me. There is so much happiness and most of the time I am focused on all of the Rock's progress but sometimes it's thrown in your face that your child has autism and he's not like the other children and man that hurts. The last few years the Rock has not understood what presents are or that they can be fun, instead he would just run away from the crowd of people and NOT join in the festivities. It's like a part of your heart is absent when your child won't participate or interact with you, it hurts! BUT this year we had Christmas at our house and we've learned a few tricks and even the Rock stuck around for most of it and even opened one or two gifts. It was a miracle!

1)We were all together, it's been a rough couple of years and this last one we barely made through with our family intact. There was PEACE in our home and that is a Christmas miracle.

Best Event of the Year ALL for Autism

Thank you EVERYONE who came and enjoyed this wonderful night with us!